Three years ago a kind, smart, and cute person with a reddish beard and I went down to the courthouse and got married before a judge. Those of you who are friends with me in so-called real life or who read the blog I used to write might remember that we were planning a big wedding but the stress of two dissertations, the academic job market, and my lack of interest in planning in conjunction with our budget converged to convince us to near-elope. We canceled the June date that we had booked with a fancy venue and our catering contract, losing some of our deposits but maintaining our sanity. Our cake maker offered to make our cake on a smaller scale since we had already paid her a significant sum of money. Our photographer, the amazing
Julian Allen, offered to come to the courthouse to take photos and then shoot some more at another location if we wanted. My gown somewhat unexpectedly arrived by the time we had made the decision, so I decided to have it altered, wear it for part of the day, and then donate it to the Bride's Project.
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| Credit: Julian Allen Photography |
Every now and then, that attention-craving ego of mine wishes that I had had a big June wedding with hundreds of guests. But deep down I know that the way we did it was the right for us. And it was a lovely day. A few family members and dear local friends accompanied us to the courthouse and then to the botanical gardens for a photo shoot. Then, in the evening we had a smallish, catered reception at our home with about 30 loved ones, one silly beagle, cake, and libations.
I had a great wedding. I have a wonderful spouse. The past three years have been full of highs and lows, and there is no one with whom I would have rather experienced them than Mark. I just hope that very soon marriage equality is the law of the land, and that all couples who chose to do so can marry and have their marriages recognized. As President Obama said yesterday "if we are truly created equal, then surely the love we commit to one another must be equal as well.”
Happy Anniversary! The first photo is very cute! Kevin and I had a super small wedding (9 guests) and have never regretted it. I think it's the way to go!
ReplyDeleteThanks! It's one of the few more candid shots the photographer took at the botanical gardens. I don't remember exactly why but I was sticking my tongue out at my mom.
DeleteHappy Anniversary!! Those pictures are so great! I can totally see the appeal of doing a small elopement as I can see how stressful (and expensive) wedding planning can be. You two make such a special couple!
ReplyDeleteHappy anniversary! There were moments during wedding planning that I wished we had eloped as well - it's very romantic and you still have a marriage at the end, which is, after all, the most important part. It sounds like you had the best of both worlds - a stress free wedding, a great party, and a wonderful spouse. Congrats to you both!
ReplyDeleteIt seems, though, from your recent posts that your wedding was exactly what you guys wanted.
DeleteI didn't know the story of your wedding, but what you did was PERFECT!!!!! Happy Anniversary!! :-)
ReplyDeleteI must say, I much prefer the idea of Wedding #2, which sounds and looks like a fabulous day! Happy Anniversary!
ReplyDeleteAw, ain't love grand? Happy anniversary, you two! Thanks for sharing your wedding story, R--I think you were wise to get off the big wedding train when you realized it was too much at the time. I imagine it's hard to stop the momentum of that kind of event-planning, but as the oracle said, "To thine own self be true."
ReplyDeleteAnd I for one am looking forward to more relationship equality of all kinds. The opponents of gay marriage are right: there is more to come after this one because there are many ways to love.
Woo hoo! Love! Hooray! Equality!
DeleteI can't believe it's been that long! And you did exactly the right thing, IMO. You were a gorgeous bride - and a sane one :-)
ReplyDeleteWell, at least sane in that particular regard.... Let's go shopping when I'm in TO this summer....
DeleteAbsolutely!
DeleteHappy anniversary!
ReplyDeleteHappy Anniversary!!!
ReplyDeleteI love the pictures - y'all look like y'all are really enjoying your special day! I had never heard of the Bride's Project what a GREAT idea!!!
Here's to many, many more years of happiness!
Oh, and check out Macklemore's Same Love. :0)
<3
Thanks so much!
DeleteI love the BP -- my sister-in-law bought her dress from a similar charity in NY and then donated it after her wedding. I loved the idea!
And you have started an obsession for me. I can't believe I hadn't seen the video before!
Happy Anniversary! Looks like you had a great wedding day, and hey, no reason you still can't throw a big party for yourself at some point down the line, right?
ReplyDeleteChic on the Cheap
Cute wedding pic! My hubby and I didn't have a big to-do either and we have a good marriage. I often notice that those who put too much emphasis on the event sometimes miss the concept of the reason for the event. :)
ReplyDeleteHappy anniversary!!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on three years! I actually love it when people are a bit more spontaneous when it comes to weddings - the photos are great!
ReplyDeleteI love that first photo! It really shows both of your fun sides! I am of the school that it is not the wedding that matters, but the marriage that comes after. Like you said, there have been some ups and downs, but you are sharing them and getting through them together and that is what matters. Here's to many more years of ups and downs for the two of you!
ReplyDelete