"Pissing on the Present"

A few weeks ago, one of my yoga instructors was describing the challenges many of us face in tuning out mental chatter and focusing on being in the moment. She remarked, "if you have one foot in the past and one in the future, you are pissing on the present." These words resonated with me, as someone who is prone to dwelling on the past (after all I am a historian) and sometimes not in especially constructive ways and as someone who is also prone to worrying about the future. What if? What if? What if? These past few weeks of the summer have presented me with the chance to spend more time in the present moment in my yoga studio. There are definitely still moments when I'm thinking about the past (and not just the seventeenth century) or fretting about the future (Alaska's economic outlook especially) or tuning out (wasting time on social media), but I've tried to take those words to heart and spend more time centered and aware of the now.

Through more time on my yoga mat and on the trails I've been able to physically engage my body so as to help bring my mind into flow. In some ways it's a lot easier to do this in warrior poses and in the fifth mile of an eight mile run than it is to do this when seated at my desk (or, to be more honest, on my couch) and trying to write. Sometimes I can even be absurdly prone to multitasking and tooling around on email and Facebook while watching a show I enjoy. Enough of that! Life's too short to spend so much of it pissing on the present.

I don't need to post the flowers to Facebook to appreciate them.

Now that my summer class is winding down, I'm hoping to spend a bit more time offline in an effort to cultivate presence rather than pissing. I love Facebook and Twitter and blogs, and they absolutely do have some positive attributes (even for the act of writing), but they can also send me into a type of writing and thinking malaise in which I get stuck in a labyrinth of newsfeeds, and by the time I escape I have no mental energy or time left to be creative. So I've decided to put some new limits in place -- at least temporarily. Between the time I finish my online class this Friday (if not actually the grading for it) and the time I leave for Madrid in the middle of July, I intend to limit my connectivity to email, Facebook, and other forms of social media to just two or three 45-60 minute intervals a day. I still plan to interact with friends on social media and to read and comment on blogs, I just want to do it more mindfully.

I hope that by limiting my use of social media (and to a lesser extent to my laptop and phone more generally) to certain times of day that I'll not only have time for more yoga and running but also more time for researching and writing and novel reading during this period in which I'm off contract and have fewer demands on my time and obligations to students and colleagues. I really want to cultivate my identity as a writer and not just an academic one over the coming few months and especially in the next few weeks. I feel vulnerable and self-conscious but also excited about committing to spend more time engaged in non-academic writing. I'm giving myself a deadline of July 14 to complete a rough and gnarly first draft of a short story. It's time to stop pissing on the present because I'm worried about how long it's been since I've written in certain different modes or how rusty I am or how freaked out I am about the idea of future failure or about how poorly I might compare to others.

It's time to get comfortable with this feeling of discomfort. If I fail, I fail. At least I'll have been present.

Frenetic February 2016 in Review

The second half of this month has been insanely busy. At the moment, I feel really overextended because of a confluence of events and deadlines on top of the grading, committee work, class prep, and marathon training. I may require many centering moments and mini meditations and copious amounts of coffee and glasses of wine in order to not lose my sh*t over the next couple of weeks. Thanks to my husband's deft cooking skills and kindness and wine's antioxidants I probably won't contract scurvy. 

Even with the intense schedule, I've made some progress toward some of my goals. 

1. Run my third marathon and PR while doing it. I was sick and off my feet for about a week during the middle of the month. However, I still feel like I'm making decent progress with my marathon training plan. I've had several good runs with my TNT group, including a 70 minute long run that featured a beautiful sunrise a couple of weeks back. In February I ran 39.55 miles and dedicated training runs to my friends Gail, Jen, John, Liz, Shanda, and Zeynep.  

Scenes from a 6.3 mile training run dedicated to my friend, colleague, and sponsor Liz

2. Make significant progress on other research projects. I only transcribed three documents this month so I didn't meet my transcription goal. I made better progress in some other research arenas. I wrote a research presentation and have made some significant progress on my article project. In the month to come, I'll largely be focused on working on a conference paper and copy edits to my book manuscript that just came back yesterday and have to be turned around pretty quickly. 

3. Establish a mindful practice of gratitude and optimism. Although I haven't used my gratitude app every day, I've used it most days. I've also tried to be kind to myself, to make yoga more of a routine for both my overall physical and mental health, and to not compromise when it comes to getting enough sleep. Exhaustion is the enemy of optimism.

4. Write some non-academic things.This has been on the back burner for most of this month as grading has mounted and academic writing deadlines have popped up. I'm alright with that as I'm still percolating on ideas for the short story I've been working on and writing down a sentence or two here and there. 

How are you progressing toward your goals for this year? Did you do anything special with your extra leap day?

The Week in Workouts: November 4-10

This was not a particularly active week for me, as I can't seem to get well and stay well. The past week I was feeling a bit run down and like I was getting a bad cold. It seemed to go away for a few days and then on Thursday I again started feeling poorly. At least I got in a few workouts.

Monday - gym. I did 20 minutes of weight lifting followed by 25 minutes on the stair master. I may be the only one in the world who loves the stairclimber, but I do.

Tuesday - active rest. I got in 30 minutes of walking across campus.

Wednesday - gym and yoga. I did 20 minutes of weights and then 20 minutes on the elliptical at a moderate pace. Later in the evening I went with a couple of friends to a Yin class. It was my first time in the studio in a few weeks and my hips were definitely feeling it by the end of the class. I was exhausted by the end and even drifted off to sleep for a few minutes during savasana.

Thursday - active rest. I got in 30 minutes of walking to my class and back to my office.

Friday - 2.5 mile run. I met up with a friend who was running 42 miles this week to celebrate her birthday for a couple of birthday miles on the trail system near campus. I was really congested, and she very kindly kept to my pokey pace.

Frozen Pond Seen on Our Run

Saturday - rest. By this point my cold had become full-blown, and I spent most of the day drinking oj and blowing my nose. I probably wouldn't have gone out for a run anyway, though, as we got freezing rain that turned the streets and sidewalks into a treacherous, slippery mess.

Sunday - rest. I was still feeling pretty crummy, so I spent the day on the couch, doing class prep, grading, and drinking hot tea.

I also received some bad news on Friday. The treadmill repair guy came to look at my treadmill, and it looks like the problem is not the speed sensor - which would be easy and cheap to fix, but rather a problem with the guts of the circuitry. If this is indeed the case, it may cost several hundred dollars to repair. Considering that the hours of daylight are shrinking and currently all surfaces outdoors right now are like an ice rink with a few inches of snow on top, we're debating the best course of action. For now, we're having the repair place order a new speed sensor, and we'll see if that ends up doing the trick.

Do you have a treadmill? Do you run outside when the conditions are icy?

Progress Toward Goals: January in Review

January, you have gone by too quickly, and we are not amused by how quickly our last semester of course release is passing. By "we" I mean my pink pants and me, naturally.

Not amused by any of the following: having to go teach a class looking wrinkled after sitting at one's desk for 3 hours to work on an article and lecture notes, not having lecture notes already done at the time of sitting, or barf-worthy prose written by past self

At least in January I made some progress toward the goals that I set at the beginning of the year.

In terms of my fitness and health goals, I've been establishing some good habits. While I missed journaling a couple of days and have had some ice cream and cookies in January, I have been working toward eating more mindfully. So far I've run 57.32 miles this month and have 4 more on the schedule for the day today. My monthly mileage should increase over the next few months thanks to marathon training. Also I've been working to more regularly integrate speed work into my weekly routine. The past couple of weeks I've been getting back into Ashtanga and trying to make at least one class a week at my yoga studio.

My professional goals included writing or revising at least 3 pages  of academic writing each week and learning another language. So far, I've met my minimum writing target each week, and I (at least for the time being) have finished work on the co-edited volume I've been working on for the past couple of years. This past month I also wrote a book review for a journal and made some progress on an article manuscript. I've been trying to spend at least 30 minutes a day most days a week using Rosetta Stone, and I've completed a few lessons.

I did an alright job with my personal goals this past month. I didn't take photos every day this month (I also accidentally deleted some that I did take before I could post them), but I did take some that I liked, like the one above of the first moose I've seen out and about in town. I read three novels in January (Shadow of Night by Deborah Harkness, The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey, and The Sleepy Hollow Family Almanac by Kris D'Agostino -- I didn't love any of them, but of the three I thought The Snow Child was the most original and had the most potential) and made my way about half-way through the last Harry Potter novel in Spanish. I also managed to stick to my budget. In January I spent $94.70 of the $100 I'm allowing myself for monthly clothing, accessory, and shoe purchases. My purchases included mascara, nail polish, a sweater, a shirt, and running socks.

How was your first month of 2013? What have you been reading lately? Do you keep to a budget?

Vancouver Marathon Training: Week 2

My second week of training for Vancouver is in the books, and I felt like training went pretty well as other parts of life started to speed back up. I managed to make progress on a manuscript, get some lectures written, attend a couple of meetings, and to go to the opera to see a production of Tosca and out to a pub for pizza and beers with a couple of friends. Training-life and work-life balance are good -- if often more elusive.

Before the show: Damn us for not remembering we would need cash in order to have wine at the theater's bar!

What I wore to the opera: replete with sparkles and duck face

Monday - scheduled 3 miles easy. Actual 3 miles easy. Since we had MLK day off from school, I decided to run in the middle of the day as a break from writing. I kept the pace nice and easy at an average 10:50 min/mile.

Tuesday - scheduled yoga. Actual yoga. A friend and I hit up a 60 minute Ashtanga class at our local yoga studio. This was my first ashtanga class in a really long time and I was melting into a puddle by about 10 minutes into it. We did all of the standing poses in the primary series and about a third of the seated ones before winding down in an inversion.

Wednesday - scheduled rest. Actual rest. As with the previous week, I was very sore from yoga and found taking a rest day quite appealing.

Thursday - scheduled 3 miles speedwork. Actual 3 miles easy. I'm hoping that soon I'll be in better yoga shape again and not still feel so sore 48+ hours after a practice. In exchange for keeping the pace at an easy 10:45 min/mile, I followed my 3 miles with some pushups, crunches, and gentle stretching.

Friday - scheduled 4 miles easy. Actual 4 miles with a few faster intervals thrown into the mix. When I got home from campus in the evening, I just really wanted to sit on the couch, drink some wine, and read a novel, but I forced myself to immediately change into running clothes and get in the miles. I wasn't feeling up to 800s but I did do several faster surges. My pace averaged out to 10:29.

Saturday - scheduled belly dance class. Actual belly dance class. This was the second class in the 4 week course that I signed up for, and it was a bit faster paced than the first class and involved some moves that were definitely challenging for someone who spends a lot of time hunched over manuscripts and doesn't have a lot of flexibility in her upper body and core.

Sunday - scheduled 7 miles LSD. Actual 7 miles at an average pace of 11:16 min/mile. The first six miles of this run were pretty awesome and confidence-building. The last mile I was tired and I was starting to feel it in my core. In spite of the sucky last mile, I feel pretty good about my longest run in the past three months and ready to build off of those completed miles in the weeks to come.

Total scheduled miles: 17.
Actual miles: 17.
Cross training workouts: 2.

So I feel like I had a solid week. I got in all the workouts on my schedule, and I ran all but one of my running workouts at a faster pace than their counterparts from the first week of training. Also there was opera. I'll take it.

2013 Goals

I have to admit that I was a little bit sad to see 2012 go, as, all told it, it was a pretty fantastic year for me. It brought me a niece, a tenure-track job, adventures with my spouse, time with far-flung friends in Madrid, New York, Boston, Chicago, and Columbus, among many other good things. I spent most of the last week of the year in Louisiana with my family - eating too much, playing with my niblet, enjoying sister time, drinking copious amounts of coffee with my mom, playing Santa, and going to a bowl game with Mark. It was the perfect way to wind down the year.

Playing with new toys on Christmas Day

As a perpetual goal setter, the transition from one year to the next is a time for me to reflect on what has been working well for me and what I can do better. I'll be working toward several major goals over the next twelve months. Here they are.

Running/Fitness Goals
1. Run 800 miles in 2013. I know that I'm starting to sound like a broken record with this goal, but considering my relatively low mileage in 2012 (only 557 miles) it seems reasonable to set this number as a target again. Since I have a marathon on the schedule for late spring and won't have the craziness of job market related travel going on this winter (thank you, God!), it seems likely that I can get the year off to a good start with running.

2. Get faster. I definitely want to set a marathon PR this year. I still haven't completely determined my race schedule for the year - in part because it is prohibitively expensive to travel from Alaska and in part because I plan to be in Europe doing research during a good chunk of the time of year that I can find more local races here - so I'm not sure quite yet what other distances I will be targeting. Hopefully, I can get a 10K PR and a half-marathon PR as well. In general, though, I also plan to integrate more speedwork into my training and set some short term training goals to work on this. For example, I have a goal to shave a minute off my timed mile time (currently a slow 8:53) by my birthday (3/17).

3. Eat more healthfully and mindfully in 2013. I've been pretty lax in my eating habits here lately, even when maintaining my food journal. I want to eat more whole foods and significantly fewer crackers and cookies in the year to come. To that end, I will be not only keeping a food journal this year, but actually working to specifically keep my intake focused on plant-based foods and within a certain caloric range.

4. Continue to deepen my yoga practice. Since the summer I've been doing yoga pretty consistently and have started attending classes at a local yoga studio. I want to continue with this as well as continue having a regular (if not daily) home practice. I see another month or two of yoga streaking in my 2013 future and working toward finding peace in a couple of poses, as I keep my joints healthy.

Writing/Professional Goals
5. Write or revise a minimum of 3 pages of academic writing each week in 2013. I did really well with this writing goal in 2012, and, while part of me is tempted to take it up to 4 or 5 pages a week, I know that 3 pages is reasonably challenging during the weeks of the year when there are research papers to grade or while on family vacations. Again I hope that I will be more productive most weeks, but this sets a bar, and again I will be keeping track of my progress on a tab here on the blog that I will update regularly. This year I want to focus my energies toward:
A) Submitting two journal articles for publication. One of these will be a revise and resubmit that I need to tackle. The other is a piece that I have about 80% drafted but will require some significant time and polishing once that's done.
B) Send my book proposal out to presses, get a contract, and finish writing the manuscript. Oy vey. I really do not want to be putting this down on my goals next year. It is time to really get cracking with this project.
C) Finish work on the co-edited volume. While I'm not entirely in control of the timeline on a collaborative project, I'd like to do everything in my power to get this off my desk and into print in the next year.

6. Learn another language for my next research project. I'll reveal more about this at a later stage, but I have an idea for another research project, but it's going to require more than the cursory reading knowledge of a language aside from English or Spanish. My plan is to use Rosetta Stone and grammars to teach myself the basics and then read some books and look for a Skype language exchange partner later in the year.

Personal Goals
7. Continue working on my photography skills. To that end, I will finish my 365 project and take a class (either online or in person) at some point in the next year. I'd also like to do a couple of photo challenges on Instagram.

8. Read at least 26 novels in 2013 and at least 6 of them in Spanish. I've been watching more television and Netflix than I should here lately, and I would like to limit my tv watching time to only a few hours a week. So instead of watching shows in the evening, I'd like to spend more of that time curled up with a good book in the next twelve months. I know that some times I'll need to work after dinner to meet my writing goals this year (especially when my course load goes back up in the fall), so I think a book every two weeks will be challenging but doable.

9. Stick to a budget for all clothing and accessory purchases. After going on a shopping diet in 2011, I was pretty bad about keeping track of and limiting my spending in 2012. As it's so expensive to travel from here and I want to see family and run a couple of destination races, I'm going to have to make some changes in my spending habits. For 2013 I will be limiting my clothing, shoes, and accessory purchases to $100.00/month. I'm including nail polish and manicures in this tally, but I won't include things like shampoo and haircuts (I am long overdue for one incidentally). I will allow my unspent budget to roll over each month. If I PR at my marathon in May and have either submitted two articles or have a book contract by then, I will allow myself one special reward outside the budget.

Did you set any goals for 2013? I'd love to hear about them in the comments or have you link up if you wrote a post about them! I hope that 2013 will be a wonderful year filled with productivity, excellent runs, and sweet moments with loved ones for all of us! Happy New Year!

Streak, Interrupted

So, you remember how I decided to participate in the Runner's World Holiday Running Streak and how I foolishly bragged about how I had no intention of ending my yoga streak after I finished a month of daily yoga practices? Well, it turns out that I had a mild case of victory disease and probably should have hired someone to walk around behind me muttering "momento mori." (See? I suffer from narcissism even when not suffering from victory disease.) Maybe someone will buy me the Wendy B. skull necklace so I can remember not to get overconfident from some minor victories.

Pride Goeth Before the (Roman Funerary Statue's Head) Fall(s Off)

While I wasn't quite crushed for hubris, I got smacked down with a very nasty cold. There were three days last week that I neither ran nor did any yoga. When I wasn't on campus, I could be found on the couch in a pair of pajamas watching reruns of Scrubs or grading or in bed. I thought I was on the mend, and I restarted both streaks on Friday. Most of my runs since then have been 1 milers logged at a very slow pace that still felt relatively hard. Although I feel better now generally, I have essentially lost my voice. As of Sunday afternoon, all that seems to come out when I talk is a barely audible croaking that sounds like a dying frog. Maybe -- if I still can't speak without hoarseness and pain on Wednesday -- that would be the appropriate time for me to try to go an entire day without talking.

In other news, I accidentally deleted my About Me page last night when I was simply trying to remove a picture from it. I gave it a quick rewrite, so I'd love it if you'd pop over there and let me know what you think.

If you're currently streaking, how's it been going for you? When was the last time you were so hoarse that you lost your voice?

November in Review and Thoughts on Thirty Days of Yoga

November is now in the books, and I have to say that it was a pretty solid month for me. I did a pretty good job of tackling my goals and making progress on a variety of projects at work and at home. At the beginning of the month I decided to start using my sticker calendar again to document each day that I journaled and practiced yoga. Beginning on Thanksgiving, when the RW holiday running streak began, I also added runs to the mix. My sticker calendar has proven to be highly motivating with its power as a visual reminder. It also appeals to my inner child (as does my Fluevog coloring book).

Sticker Calendar in Action

1. Write, revise, or edit at least 7 pages a week during the month of November. This was an aggressive goal, but I freaking nailed it. It should be noted that, though, that I have a course release, that until the last two days of the month I had very minimal marking to do in the two classes I'm teaching, and that the Thanksgiving break kept me bobbing along. I submitted an article to a journal this month and made some significant progress on an edited volume.

2. Maintain my food journal every single day this month.  As you can see from my sticker calendar, I came really close to achieving this goal. I didn't journal my food intake on Thanksgiving or for the couple of days after that, though. While I won't be buying snow boots this month, I feel like I've done a good job of establishing the habit of keeping my journal on a daily basis again.

3. Do yoga every day this month. I did yoga everyday this month. A number of my practices were short 20 minute sessions, but I also made it to a number of classes at my yoga studio over the course of November. The first week of committing to making time to get on my mat everyday was the hardest. After several days, I found myself looking forward to that time to stretch, unwind, and breathe.

As I mentioned a few days ago, I do think that my upper body and core gained some strength over the course of the month. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror at my studio the other day and for once was pleasantly surprised. Perhaps this was partly because I was seated so I didn't look klutzy and oafish in the way that I sometimes feel I do. Most of it, though, was because I noticed some definition in my tricep that definitely wasn't there at the beginning of the month. I've made some gains in flexibility. My shoulders feel a bit less tight in spite of many hours spent hunched over a sixteenth-century manuscript. My hamstrings, while still very tight, are a little bit looser. However, I have to admit that balancing poses are still very hit or miss for me. Occasionally my tree is straight and strong, but often it is still wobbly and tilting. Possibly because I did so many short practices, my body held up pretty well. I did have some tenderness in my left wrist on days 26 and 27, but it doesn't seem to have lingered. I also tried to approach all of my practices and classes with acceptance. I didn't push poses to a point where I couldn't breathe or feel space -- as one of my favorite new instructors says, "if you're already saying 'Oh God' you've found God. Once you've found God in the pose, why would you need to go farther?"

While my month of yoga is at an end and I get to check an item off my 32 in 32 list, I actually don't intend to end my streak just yet. I won't be setting a specific goal, but the benefits of getting on my mat each day have been so significant physically and mentally that it seems like I should just keep going.

One final thought is that my yoga studio seems to be the place for me to cement new friendships with people I've befriended at the university but who are in other departments and I don't often see on campus. Twice now I've run into a new friend at yoga and talking before and after class has led to making plans to get a beer or go on a double date.

So November was a full month. I also ran 48 miles, hosted a brunch, celebrated Thanksgiving, hung up drapes, went to the crafts' show at the museum, and experienced ice fog for the first time. How was November for you? If you practice yoga, is there a pose that becomes immediately intense for you?

Over the Long Weekend: Feasting and Streaking

Over the past few days I have indulged. I've slept in. I've lounged in pjs. I've consumed extra cups of coffee in the morning and beers with friends in the afternoons and evenings. M. and I have had two Thanksgiving dinners. The first was a delicious meal hosted by some friends. There were about twenty people there, including our two closest friends in Anchorage. My friend and I were both attired in outfits that involved oxblood, as you can sort of see from the photo below. It was a fun evening spent chatting and eating. There was an array of dishes: ham, turkey, mushroom and rice dressing, cranberry ambrosia, brussel sprouts, mashed potatoes, and roasted root vegetables. My contribution was a sweet potato casserole. The selection of desserts was also impressive with pumpkin pie, pumpkin cheese cake, almond cake, a caramel tart, sweet potato ice cream with candied pecans, and chocolates. I tried a little of everything, including the dreaded brussel sprouts. I found out that roasting them is definitely the way to go. While I don't see them becoming a staple in our household, as M. doesn't like them, I enjoyed them and was able to cross an item off my 32 in 32 list.

Thanksgiving Dinner Take 1

I also wanted to make my own dinner since I knew that some of the dishes that I associate with Thanksgiving would not be on the table at dinner on Thursday evening. We had initially thought about doing our second meal on Friday, but we decided to meet up with some friends at Midnight Sun Brewery for a late lunch and a couple of beers and then to acquire our Christmas tree instead. So on Saturday I cooked a smaller scale meal at home including my favorite cornbread dressing as well as green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, and some more sweet potato casserole.

Thanksgiving Dinner Take 2

Tree 2012

Although I've been indulging more than usual, I've also been continuing to hit my yoga mat and logging the miles. I have practiced yoga for 25 consecutive days now, and I have noticed that I'm making some gains in upper body strength. I'm still not as strong as I would like to be, but I can hold plank for a bit longer now and downward facing dog is becoming less intense for me -- though it is still not the resting pose that it is for more advanced practitioners. I've also noticed some minor gains in flexibility and that I'm becoming a little less Monty Burns-ish in my posture. A friend back in the Midwest convinced me to attempt the 2012 Holiday Running Streak that Runner's World is challenging readers to do from Thanksgiving to New Year's Day. Initially I wasn't sure about starting a running streak while in the middle of attempting to maintain a daily yoga practice for a whole month, but at four days into running at least a mile a day I'm feeling relatively optimistic.

Are you participating in the holiday running streak? What is your favorite dish at Thanksgiving?

Eleven Things About Eleven Days of Yoga

If you read my recent post in which I set my goals for the month of November, then you may have noticed that I have set for myself a challenge of doing yoga every day this month. At this point I have done yoga for eleven consecutive days. Even though most of those practices have been short 20 minute sessions on my mat at home this is the most yoga I've done in such a short period of time since the beginning of 2009 when I was going regularly to Ashtanga classes and to mysore a couple of times a week with a friend. I'm still processing some of what's been happening on my mat, but here are some of my reflections so far.

Bailey: My Yoga and Fashion Inspiration

1. My upper body is weak. It's probably not quite as weak as it was back in August when I started doing yoga again, but a lot of poses are still challenging and require modifications right now as a result. Not having a gym membership or doing yoga all summer really took its toll.

2. My wrists are also on the weak side. My third through fifth days of consecutive practices, my right wrist was actually hurting in a few poses -- plank and chaturanga in particular even when I was taking modifications. Fortunately, after a few days the pain seemed to just go away.

3.  I've done tree pose several times in the past eleven days and it amazes me how sometimes I seem to be able to balance just fine and others I start to tip over almost immediately. I'm still trying to suss out the cause - is it a comparative lack of focus, an inner ear thing, or maybe muscle fatigue?

4. I miss being able to walk to my yoga studio in less than 15 minutes. This was a luxury I enjoyed part of the time that I was in grad school and also took advantage of a bit in NYC this summer.

5. The pose that I'm currently feeling like I'm getting the best stretch out of is chair pose. I feel it in my shins and my calves, as well as in my quads. Bonus: an article in a recent Yoga Journal suggested that this was one of the best poses for runners to do.

6. The pose that I'm currently loving the most is pigeon pose. It feels so good on my hips.

7. I'm working to come to peace with how I look in the mirrors at the yoga studio when I happen to catch a glimpse of myself. In my mind's eye, I am graceful and my movements are fluid. The mirror, however, suggests that I am more oafish than lithe and my movements are more clumsy than smooth. I guess the first goal is to recognize the reality and the second goal is to work toward that grace and fluidity but to realize that even if I don't ever quite achieve that I'm gaining lots of benefits.

8. At a yoga class last Tuesday the instructor encouraged us to pull our shoulders away from our ears while we were in a forward bend, and for the first time I really noticed how different it felt to move my shoulders back down my back in this pose. It's all about the small revelations.

9. Yoga is better when you smile.

10. There is a possibility that yoga is even better at working out the kinks after a day of writing or grading than running. They both work in their different ways.

11. Whenever I don't really want to do yoga, that's when I probably most need to do it. One day last week I had a demoralizing experience with bureaucracy after an already long day on campus and the last thing I really wanted to do was to get on my mat. But I did, and breathing and moving with the breath helped me to let go of some of my frustration.

Do you have a regular yoga practice? What's your favorite pose? Have you ever done a streak of some kind? Writing? Running? Yoga?

Halloween Half Marathon Training Week 3

I'm happy to report that another week of training is in the books, and, in spite of weather insanity, it was actually a pretty good week. It involved my first run in the double digits since May and plenty of good cross-training.

Monday - scheduled 3 miles hills. Actual 80 minute hike with M. and Bailey. We wanted to spend some time together out of the house and even though it was a little drizzly we decided to go explore a trail that's not too far from our neighborhood.

Tuesday - scheduled yoga. Actual yoga. I went to a 90 minute Vinyasa class at my local studio. With the wind starting to whip and howl, we spent a lot of time doing grounding poses that really activated our legs.

Wednesday - scheduled 4 miles easy. Actual 3.8 miles easy. After our power came back on, I took advantage of it by hopping on the treadmill.

Thursday - scheduled yoga. Actual rest -- unless you count spending about 30 minutes picking up twigs and small branches and mowing the front lawn. The fact that it wasn't raining meant that I really needed to take advantage of the opportunity to mow what was starting to become a savannah.

Friday - scheduled rest. Actual 10 miles LSD. I had a weird day of working while waiting so at the end of it I decided to just try to get my long run out of the way. It wasn't a great run but it wasn't a bad run either.

Saturday - scheduled 10 miles LSD. Actual yoga. Since I had done my long run the day before, I had free time Saturday morning to go to my studio for a 90 minute Hatha class.

Sunday - scheduled 3 miles recovery. Actual 2.5 miles with some hills at an easy pace with my new bear bell courtesy of the amazing Kyria. This was a fabulous run on a stunningly gorgeous day. The sky was blue and the air was crisp. I felt like I could have gone forever, but I needed to get back to do some cleaning around the house and food prep as we had a couple of friends over to watch football in the afternoon.

Total scheduled miles: 20
Actual miles: 16.3
Cross training workouts: 3

Up next for Week 4:

Monday - scheduled 4 miles tempo.

Tuesday - scheduled rest. (Originally my plan called for yoga here, but I'm taking the opportunity to meet with a new potential friend for a drink instead.)

Wednesday - scheduled 4 miles easy.

Thursday - scheduled yoga. (Originally my plan called for rest here, but I'm hoping to swap here.)

Friday - 3 miles easy.

Saturday - scheduled 8 miles LSD.

Sunday - scheduled yoga.

So I also need to start thinking about how I'm going to Zombify myself for the trail half that I'm running for training in just a few short weeks. I'm kind of thinking Sean of the Dead-ing it with black pants, a white shirt with some red splatters and a red tie since a Pride and Prejudice and Zombies get-up might not be ideal for running. Any thoughts?

Acknowledging Loneliness

Saturday morning I was at yoga class and one of the messages that the instructor imparted as the class began was the importance of being aware of what we are feeling, acknowledging it, and not immediately backing away from it. She noted that when a pose is uncomfortable (causing discomfort from working and active muscles rather pain) that our tendency is to back away from it, to ease up on the pose rather than to acknowledge, embrace, and breathe into what we are feeling. She also remarked that we often do the same thing with our emotions. It was then that it hit me. I am feeling lonely.

It seems a bit odd of course that I should feel lonely after this past week of hectic activity. I've been getting to know some of my new colleagues a bit better. I have lots of new students whose names I'm trying to learn. I feel lucky to have a spouse who was willing to move with me to Alaska for my job and who has been a trooper through the long wait for our stuff. Yet, I realized on my mat on Saturday that I feel really lonely. Of course, I had spent the day before at home, alternating editing, writing, and unpacking boxes, and, being an extrovert, I like those kinds of days to be followed with an evening with friends or group run the next day. So, as I was there on my mat, I acknowledged my loneliness. I was and I am lonely for specific friends but also because I don't yet have a large circle of friends here.

In part, it's probably because we have yet to have anyone over to our home for a beer or a meal. I haven't yet gone running with anyone or had lunch with a friend here since the move. While my new colleagues have been welcoming and friendly, we're not yet to the stage where I feel like I can call any of them to come over and drink a beer while I may or may not go apeshit about mislabeled boxes. With a couple of people, I feel like real friendships are on the verge of forming, but we haven't quite made it there yet. So the past couple of days I've allowed myself to feel lonely and realized that's okay. I don't need to do anything specific about it (except maybe meet up with that local group for a run tomorrow evening) because with time the feeling will pass or -- perhaps, more accurately -- it will grow into something different as I form more and deeper connections with my new community.

Halloween Half-Marathon Training Week 2

Well, such as it was, another week of half-marathon training is in the books. This past week involved the compounded insanity of the first week of classes and the arrival of our furniture and goods, so I had to make some changes as I went along.

Monday - scheduled 3 miles - 800s. Actual rest. It was the first day of classes, and I ended up having to run the additional errand of getting a faculty ID made, as I lost my first one within 48 hours of getting it. (Don't ever become absent minded like I apparently have.) By the time I was done with that it was mid-afternoon, so I opted to have lunch and write instead.

Tuesday - scheduled rest. Actual 3 miles - 800s. The 800s weren't particularly fast, but I reunited with my just-delivered treadmill almost as soon as I got home from campus that day.  It also gave me a chance to relieve some of the stress that was the result of a naughty doggy. Bailey got anxious and destructive when we shut her up in the bedroom earlier that day in an effort to keep her out from under the feet of the movers.

The joys of home and anxious dog ownership combined.....

Wednesday - scheduled 3.5 miles easy. Actual rest. Like the previous week, I had planned to go to a group run in the evening, but unpacking some boxes seemed more important.

Thursday - scheduled yoga. Actual rest. My stomach was feeling off, so I skipped class and did a little bit of unpacking.

Friday - scheduled 3 miles easy. Actual 3 miles easy. After two days of inactivity, I felt really ready to get in a run.

Saturday - scheduled 8.5 miles LSD. Actual yoga. The weather totally sucked, but the forecast showed that Sunday would be a nicer day, so I opted to go to a 90 minute Hatha Yoga class. It was fantastic! We did lots of opening poses, and I knew my legs wouldn't feel fresh the next day but that it would be good physical and mental practice for running when tired.

Sunday - scheduled yoga. Actual 8.5 miles LSD. Due to some continued stomach problems, I opted to do this run on the treadmill. It wasn't the fastest or most interesting run, but I finished it.

Total scheduled miles: 18
Actual miles: 14.5
Cross training workouts: 1

Up next for Week 3:

Monday - scheduled 3 miles hills.

Tuesday - scheduled yoga.

Wednesday - scheduled 4 miles easy.

Thursday - scheduled yoga.

Friday - scheduled rest

Saturday - scheduled 10 miles LSD.

Sunday - scheduled 3 miles recovery.

This week brings the return of the double-digit long run. I'm a little bit nervous for it, but I have a route planned out and, as a reward, I intend to spend the rest of the day next Saturday watching college football on the couch.

Halloween Half-Marathon Training Week 1

Week one of half-marathon training got off to a bit of a mixed start. Because it was the week before the start of classes and I had various meetings to attend, my real routine hasn't quite been established yet. Here's how it went down.

Monday - scheduled 3 miles easy. Actual 3 miles at an easy pace with some rolling hills. It was nice to get in a run on my first day back at home and feel like I was getting off on the right foot.

Tuesday - scheduled yoga. Actual yoga. I went to a 90 minute Open Vinyasa class at a local studio, and I really enjoyed it. It challenged me, but, as it was my fourth yoga class in just over two weeks, I was able to walk pretty normally the next day.

Wednesday - scheduled 3.5 miles easy. Actual rest. I had planned to meet up with a local running group in the evening, but cramps and car sharing schedules conspired to prevent this work out from happening.

Thursday - scheduled rest. Actual rest. I thought about trying to make up Wednesday's missed miles, but I had a ton of errands to run all over town and still wasn't feeling that great so I took the rest day.

Friday - scheduled 3 miles easy. Actual 3 miles at an easy pace with some rolling hills and progressive splits. At first, my body didn't respond well to running in the afternoon. The first mile was pretty much sucktastic, but I just kept slogging away and it thankfully got easier as I went along.

Saturday - scheduled 7 miles LSD. Actual 7 miles LSD. I explored the coastal trail, which made for a stunningly beautiful run with views of mountains, downtown Anchorage, and the estuary. I saw quite a few other runners out, as well as some walkers and cyclists.

Sunday - scheduled yoga. Actual 90 minute Hatha Yoga class. We did a lot of really simple poses, but I felt like I was working hard the whole time.

Up next for Week 2:

Monday - scheduled 3 miles - 800s.

Tuesday - scheduled rest. (My original plan called for yoga, but our things are scheduled to be delivered on Tuesday so I plan to spend the evening unpacking as much as possible after I get home from campus.)

Wednesday - scheduled 3.5 miles easy.

Thursday - scheduled yoga. (I'm swapping Tuesday and Thursday this week.)

Friday - scheduled 3 miles easy.

Saturday - scheduled 8 miles LSD.

Sunday - scheduled yoga.

I have to admit that I'm still a bit in awe of Alaska. When I'm running here, I feel like I'm constantly on the lookout for bears and moose, and it's been hard to get into the zone because I'm afraid to let my guard down and end up getting mauled or trampled. Some of my new friends and colleagues have said that this will pass and others have said that after decades they are still scanning for bears with something akin to paranoia. I'm hoping that if I find some people to run with some of the time I will feel a little bit less anxious. I'm also on the market for bells and bear pepper spray.

Yogic Intersections

When I was in New York last month, a friend, who I hadn't seen for almost five years, happened to notice a status update on my FB page and realized that I was in Manhattan. It turned out that she moved here a few years back. (Since she doesn't post all that frequently on FB this had escaped my notice. I actually thought that she was in Panama.) Because it was getting toward the end of my trip, we decided to postpone meeting up until I was back this time. Last week she suggested that we get together one evening for a yoga class at the studio that she regularly goes to and then have a a bite to eat and a drink after and catch up. We finally did this yesterday evening.

We attended an open vinyasa class at the University location of Yoga Vida. There were some things that I really liked about the class: the instructor was able to impart meaningful wisdom without being as intense or as ethereal as some yoga instructors I've encountered, the class was only an hour long so it was good for someone like me who has been out of the studio for a couple of years, and the price could not be beat - an unlimited week of classes for $10 with a free first-time mat and towel rental. Aside from the instructor, there was an assistant walking around and giving modifications and correcting poses. I got an amazing opening for me in my upper body in a twist thanks to her guidance and assistance. There were a couple of things that I didn't care for, though. The main thing was music with words playing at regular volume during corpse pose. I find it hard enough to let go of my thoughts in savasana without music playing. It was also a pretty crowded class, and I felt a little worried about bumping into people near me once or twice in certain poses.

After our class, we got some Greek food and chatted about Madrid and our lives since Madrid. It was great catching up with her and to see how different our lives are now from what they were just a few years ago. It was also really nice to have the extra push to make sure I got back on a yoga mat this week. I suspect that having a regular yoga date would keep me more accountable until attending classes a studio becomes more habitual. Do you have a yoga buddy or a friend that you meet to do cross-training with at the gym?

2012 Goals: Mid-Year Check In

June is almost over, so I thought I'd check in and report my progress (or lack thereof in some cases) with the longterm goals that I set at the beginning of the year. I've been making good progress on some of the things that I wanted to achieve in 2012, some progress on some of them, and a couple have stalled. I would say that, realistically, almost all of my goals are still in the doable camp. I need to reassess the two exceptions and see how I can come out of the year with measurable progress even if I don't check them off my list.

Running and Health Goals
1. Run 800 miles in 2012.  I am no where close to being half-way to meeting this goal. I've run fewer than 300 miles so far this year, so I would need to run an average of 85 miles a month for the rest of the year to meet my goal. I just don't think that's realistic for me right now. I'm not training for a fall marathon, though I am registered for a fall half (more on that later). July and August will probably not be high mileage months as I have 2 research trips to New York, an epic move of more than 3,000 miles, and the start of a new job to contend with. I'm trying to reassess and come up with a magic number of miles that is more realistic considering the circumstances but still challenging. 650? 700?

2. Get faster. I wanted to set new 10K and half-marathon PRs. I have yet to find a 10K that fits my schedule this year and have come no where close to strong performances in the two half-marathons that I've run thus far this year. The good news is that there is still time to work on this. I am registered for a fall half-marathon and have started working on getting some speed again. I'm also registered for a 5K next month in New York and am going to focus on being in a position to try for a PR at that distance then. And maybe a 10K will pop on my radar before too long.

3. Continue my home yoga practice and take some classes at a studio (or studios). I have been doing less yoga than I would ideally like to be doing here lately. I never made it to my studio in Madrid. However, I've made up my mind to check out a studio near where I'll be staying during my first research trip to New York. I've also been doing some internet sleuthing to see if I can find a yoga studio that's not too far from our house in Anchorage. One studio has a pretty decent introductory rate for a month of unlimited classes, so I'm thinking about doing that in September.

4. Maintain my food journal for the entire year. I was doing pretty well with this goal until I had my oral surgery and went to Madrid shortly thereafter. Since I didn't have internet in my apartment there I pretty much completely fell off the journaling wagon. This past week I've been trying to get back into the habit of logging what I eat.

Writing and Professional Goals
5. Write or Revise a minimum of 3 pages/week of academic writing for the entire year.  This is probably the goal I've done the best with so far this year. I've been keeping a weekly log on one of the pages here and knowing that I would have to report a number less than 3 was what kept me motivated to take time to write even when things have been really busy. I just need to keep going and doing what I've been doing.

A) Submit at least two articles to journals for publication. While I haven't submitted anything yet, I think I should have one article that's ready to go out soon after the move, and I plan to finish revisions on another article so that I can resubmit it to a journal in the fall.
B) Send my book proposal to publishers, get a book contract, finish writing the manuscript itself.  I'm not where I'd like to be with this one. I'm making progress on the proposal and revisions, but I'll need another research trip before I'll be able to completely finish the manuscript in its entirety. As it stands, I'm reassessing this one. I am determined to get the proposal and a revised sample chapter out to presses before the end of the year, though.
C) Apply for grants that will enable me to do more research. I have done okay with this one. One of the grants I was going to apply for canceled their 2012 competition due to the economic crisis in Spain, and I wasn't eligible for research grants from the institution I left because I would not be returning. I did, however, have input on a co-authored grant that is paying for my research trips to New York this summer and will be keeping my eyes open for opportunities in the fall.

6. Look into doing service for a professional organization. I haven't really managed to get to this yet, but I am working on a cataloguing project while I'm in New York and I will be the faculty advisor to the local chapter of a history honor society once I arrive at my new institution, so those things will count.

Personal Goals
7. Keep a wine and beer journal. I was doing pretty well with this in the winter months but sort of petered off during the spring. I've started back up again, though, since my house hunting trip to Anchorage where I had some tasty local beers.

8. Learn to be a better photographer. I initially joined a 365 website, but I struggled to keep up with it after the first few weeks. I think in part that was because it was yet another social media that I felt like I needed to log in and keep track of. Since I started my 365 blog at the end of April, I've only missed one day, and I do think I'm getting more comfortable with my DSLR. Taking the camera with me to Madrid - something that I debated doing - turned out to be a good decision for me.

If you set goals for the year, how are they coming along? I'd love to hear about your achievements and progress!

April Goals

April is the last month of classes at my current institution, and I have an oral surgery scheduled for this month. (I guess I'll get to cross #12 of my 32 in 32 bucket list.) Knowing that I have a lot going on, including final papers to grade, and that I will need a few days of taking things easy to recover from having my wisdom teeth cut out, I'm trying to be realistic in my goal setting this month.

Writing/Professional Goals

1. Finish modernizing the other primary source text. For reals. This needs to be off my desk before I leave on my research trip to Madrid. 

2. Make an archival to-do list. I've already started this, but I need to finish this so that I go to Madrid with a solid research plan for making the best use of my four weeks in the archives there. 

3. Make progress on my book proposal. I hope to finish my chapter outlines this month (since I didn't last month) and begin working on revising a sample chapter to send out to presses with the proposal. 

Fitness/Health Goals

1. Maintain my food journal every day during the month of April. Grading often leads to mindless snacking for me. I want to make sure I'm encouraging myself to snack on more fruit and on less cheese and crackers. 

2. Run 70 miles. I will need to take a few days off from running after my surgery, but I'm hoping to make running a few miles a priority and a means of relieving stress during these final weeks of the term. A few speed workouts are also in order during the first part of the month. 

3. Do at least three 45-90 minute yoga practices. Because I'll be gone much of the summer and am moving, I'm canceling my gym membership during the second half of this month. That should give me some extra time for stretching out on my mat and meditating. 

Miscellaneous Goals

1. Take a photo every day for my 365 project and make a collage at the end of the month. I really want to get back on the wagon with this so that I can justify buying a zoom lens at some point this summer.
2. I'd like to try my hand at making my own bagels this month. Mainly, I want to do some baking before it gets so hot that I'd rather the oven not be turned on.

Have you ever made your own bagels? If so, I'd love you to share your recipe or a link to it in the comments! What are your goals for April? 

March Goals and Some Good News

I'm really excited to share some good news with you, dear readers. I found out on Wednesday afternoon that I had won a major grant for the summer and will be working on an awesome project for several weeks in New York City with two other more advanced faculty members in my field. I'll probably spend a week or so in June and much of July in New York. I'm over the moon about getting to work in this collection, have my name associated with this granting institution, and spend time in NYC! I'm also hoping that I can either run a 4th of July Half-Marathon in the Bronx or the Queens Half-Marathon at the end of July, but I can't commit to that until we get a better sense of dates.

M. and me in NYC in 2008

So with that out of my system, it's now on to March goals. This month starts with midterm grading; it will include Spring Break with a trip to San Antonio to visit my sister and meet my new little niblet, a Writing Retreat that I'm hosting, and my birthday, which will be celebrated with a half-marathon; and March will wind down for me with a trip to Boston for a conference and to give a talk at a Boston-area college. It's going to be busy and full of time with family and friends.

Fitness/Health Goals
1. Run 75 Miles. Aim to run in every place that I visit this month. I plan to complete four double digit long runs this month, as well.
2. Do more yoga. This includes doing a couple of longer practices. Maybe even try a class at a studio if my schedule allows at some point this month.
3. Maintain my food journal every day this month. If I am able to do this, even when traveling this month, and meet my mileage goal, I'm going to treat myself to a pedicure at the beginning of April.

Writing/Professional Goals
1. Finish modernizing the other primary source text. A few final modifications might be needed, but I want this project to be off my desk.
2. Write the public lecture I'll be giving later in the month. I already have a few pages drafted, but I want to impress so I need to get to work on this and will be devoting several hours this weekend to it even though Spring Break is calling my name.
3. Make progress on my book proposal. I hope to finish my chapter outlines this month and begin working on revising a sample chapter to send out to presses with the proposal.

Miscellaneous Goals
1. Take a photo every day for my 365 project and make a collage at the end of the month. I missed a few days of taking photos in February, and I need to just take more photos in general since the goal of this project is really for me to improve my photography skills.
2. Clean out my writing desk. Over the past couple of months, my writing desk has become a storage unit rather than a workable space. Now that the days are getting lighter, I'd like to do more work at my writing desk again, so it's time to clean and sit down (or alternatively stand up) and write.

What do you have planned for March? Any races? Any major projects you hope to finish or to start? I'd love to hear from you!

Contemplating Mystical Unicorns

Earlier today I was writing some lecture notes for a class session on medieval religious devotion and female mystics, like Julian of Norwich, and I accidentally typed the words "contemplating mystical unicorns" instead of "contemplating mystical unions". Perhaps this typo was a bit ... um... errr... Freudian.... I mean, who doesn't dream of riding a unicorn?

Seriously, though, maybe my mystical unicorns are those things that I wish for and hope for and work toward, but still seem maddeningly elusive at present -- the things that are hiding in the Forbidden Forest. What are your mystical unicorns? What are some of the goals that seem out of reach to you right this minute but that you believe that with hard work you can attain?

Here are some of my mystical unicorns.

1. Running a sub two hour half-marathon. Clearly the 11:10 min/mile pace that I've been running here lately on my longer runs isn't going to get me to this goal tomorrow, but I hope to get there eventually. I hope in 2013. It means that I will have to shave a minute per mile off of my PR half-marathon pace, but I'm starting to reintegrate some speedwork into my routine and hoping that with continued hard work I can set a new PR at this distance later in 2012.

2. Getting tenure. Like many most people working in academia these days, I'm not currently in a tenure-track position. I hope that before long this will change, not only for me individually but for the profession as a whole. I would say more, but I don't want this post to turn into a rant about labor practices.

3. Mastering bakasana. This pose has eluded me for many years. I will probably have to gain some more upper body strength and lose a few pounds in order to float into this pose and hold it rather than barely getting into it for less than a split second.

4. And, of course, going for a ride on a mystical unicorn.

January Goals: New Year, New Hair, New Projects

So far my 2012 is off to a pretty good start. I got a hair cut. I've made substantial progress on article revisions. I finished a novel and caught up with a good friend over lunch. This month I have a lot going on: a conference in Chicago, where I'll be seeing a number of colleagues and friends, the start of another semester bringing with it meetings and class prep, my wedding anniversary, half-marathon training, and writing projects with deadlines. In order to set myself up for success, I'm keeping my goals focused on making progress toward the bigger goals that I have for 2012.

My stylist always gives me the news anchor 'do

Professional/Writing Goals
1. Finish revising an article and submit it to an academic journal. Disconnect from the internet, set the timer, immerse myself in work, and get it done. The sooner the better.
2. Complete 2/3 of a primary source text modernization project that I'm working on. Once I'm back from this conference, my plan is to do several pages each week. I'm going to block out an hour or so on Mon/Wed/Fri for doing this.
3. Begin work on the table of contents and chapter outlines for my book manuscript proposal. Ideally, I'd like to have a draft of each chapter outline done by the end of the month. I'm more flexible with this one because I'm prioritizing the other two goals this month, but I want to make some progress here. Forward momentum is good.

Fitness/Health Goals
1. Run 75 miles in January. My half-marathon training program actually calls for a few more miles than this, but with my upcoming conference and the start of the semester, I'm allowing myself a little bit of flexibility. The goal is to get in all the long runs even if I have to shift things around and most of the other runs on my schedule. I'm planning a 7 miler in Chicago on Saturday.
2. Maintain my food journal daily. I'd like to get the year off to an excellent start here, and I'm thinking of rewarding myself with a little something for the kitchen I've had my eye on if I succeed in recording every meal and snack in January.
3. Do more yoga. I will continue to work in those shorter practices, but I want to get in at least two longer sessions on my mat. My goal is to either check out a class or two at the local yoga studio or do a couple of longer practices from yogadownloads. Maybe I'll get really crazy and do both. It depends on how the month unfolds.

Miscellaneous Goals
1. Create a collage of my January photos for the 365 project. I want to make sure that I'm starting out this project by regularly uploading my photos and keeping track of them. I think this will be a fun way to make sure that I do that. I'll post it at the end of the month.

How are you breaking your goals for the year down into more manageable tasks? Anyone else avoiding the gym during the first week or so of the year and selfishly hoping that the hubbub dies down soon?