Pre-Defense Running and Post-Defense Flowers

Yesterday morning, even though I had slept fitfully the night before due to anxiety about my defense, I went for a little run.  I knew that it would help me to clear my mind and to give an outlet to some of my nervous energy.  It was humid and my body felt heavy from the lack of sleep and nervous tension, but I kept the pace nice and slow and for a few moments I hit my stride and felt a stillness in my mind that I hadn't felt in a few days. 


Right now running isn't effortless or even easy for me.  Some muscle memory and some of my endurance have remained, but I definitely don't have the level of conditioning that I had last summer and fall, but I will get there.  Training is a lot like writing a dissertation -- just keep going a little further and a little longer and eventually you will finish.  

After I ran the marathon last October, I mentioned to some friends that I wasn't sure which was more difficult: finishing a marathon or finishing a dissertation.  Now, I know that it's definitely finishing a dissertation.  For the past few months I've felt like my life has revolved around my doctoral thesis to the point that everything else (except maybe my marriage) has suffered.  I definitely couldn't log the miles that I wanted to or get the quality of sleep that I needed to or engage in many social activities without feeling guilty.

Even though my work is far from done, as I have other projects and after a few months will start transitioning my dissertation into a book manuscript, I now feel much of the weight of all those pages beginning to slip off my shoulders.  Suddenly, allocating an hour a day for training doesn't seem like it will take too much time and energy away from my work. 

On an entirely different note, yesterday afternoon when my amazing husband picked me up from campus after my defense he handed me a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a card.   Then I arrived home to find that my sweet friend and co-blogger, Ann Underfunded Humanity, who is currently in Vermont, had also sent me flowers.

I went out last night with M. for an amazing meal, and then we met up with friends for drinks to celebrate.  I'll probably still be sweating out the toxins tonight at yoga.  I feel very lucky to have such a wonderful spouse, fantastic friends, the degree that I've worked toward for so many years, and now the time and energy to put a bit more focus back on my running goals.