Last Monday I had one of those runs that was just terrible. My legs felt like lead; my breathing felt labored; my mind couldn't relax. It had been a while since I struggled so much just putting one foot in front of the other. I told myself that if I just ran 2 miles then I could stop. Often giving myself an out helps me to relax and get into the zone, but not that day. As soon as I had logged 2 miles on the treadmill, I wanted to get off, but I talked myself into another .4 mile before I lumbered off of the 'mill, so relieved to be done. Runs like the one I had a week ago make me question the wisdom of signing up for half-marathons and marathons. In fact, runs that are grueling and punishing for no perceivable reason make me wonder why I don't just feel satisfied with walking, hiking, or yoga.
Fortunately, most runs aren't like these. Yesterday I wanted to get a run in during the late afternoon even though I was feeling inexplicably exhausted. I had almost drifted off at my desk twice while doing some work after lunch, and I was still feeling some bodily soreness and tiredness from a more intense yoga class than I had bargained for on Saturday. Yet, even though I had every reason to expect my run to be somewhere in the range from full-on-suckfest to mediocre, I felt fine for the entire four miles. Admittedly, I kept the pace nice and easy (about an 11:15 min/mile -- in fact an almost identical pace to what I had run on the crappy run the week before) but those 45 minutes of running were some of the easiest and happiest of my day.
I can't really explain or predict why or when a bad run or a particularly good run will happen, but I do know that the elation I get from a good run more than cancels out the despair and doubt I feel when I have a bad run. While my pace might not be what I want it to on some of my runs or I don't always push myself to charge up hills, I'm glad that my good runs seem to outnumber the bad ones. I tell myself that the bad runs make the good runs all that much sweeter, that they make me appreciate what it felt like when I (re)started running regularly, that a bad run thrown in there now and then keeps running feeling fresh and challenging and new. Maybe I can't always convince myself that these things are true, maybe I can't always convince myself to run another mile or even another step on a bad run, but I do always know that another good run is out there and I'll lace up my shoes again in pursuit of it.
What is your ratio of good runs to bad runs? How do you convince yourself to keep going when you are having a crappy run?
I had the same thing happen this past week. Friday I had an awesome run, then Saturday morning I had a HORRIBLE run. My legs felt like lead and I really struggled to finish. I think those runs happen everyone in awhile to remind us to appreciate the good runs. I have no idea what my issue was that day, but I took Sunday off and went to yoga, and ran yesterday and the run went awesome! I would say I have a bad run maybe 1-2 times/month? I have them far fewer than I used to, which is great because those tough runs mess with you. I do have more tough runs in the summer months when it's hot and humid and we are doing hard workouts, though... then I would say I almost have a bad run weekly!
ReplyDeleteRunning kills me in its unpredictability! I find I more go through periods of bad runs/good runs than alternating the way yours were this time. Right now I'm running well, so I'm able to push myself a bit more mentally, which in turn seems to lead to more good running. I'll take it while I have it!
ReplyDeleteI have more good than bad, but the bad ones sneak up in the nastiest way. But it's why I'm so hesitant about committing to a bigger goal than one or two half-marathons a year -- I'm nervous about getting to a point where I'd hate having to run . . . Instead, I'm kind of coming at it sideways. . . My sister, by the way, tells me it's Hug a Runner day, so here's a virtual hug for you -- Have a Good Day!
ReplyDeleteA thoughtful and interesting post, R. For me, I'd say the first 10 minutes or so of every run are hard, so I feel a bit of "bad running" every time I run. Most of my runs have something about them that I love, some redeeming quality that makes me hesitant to call them bad runs. I have this fantasy that some day, I'll be such a good runner that all my runs will feel joyful and effortless. I have been running, on and off, for 13 years and I have yet to reach that running utopia. I have a feeling that my fantasy is a unicorn that I'll be chasing for the rest of my life :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm with Rosiecat. The first mile or two of each run can be really draining, physically and mentally. I always go through a thing in my mind about how...this run sucks, I should turn around, my feet hurt, it's cold....etc..then at some point I hit a magic (good) wall and it doesn't suck as much. So really it's like no run ends as a bad run but many of them begin as one.
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